The day my foster daughter arrived, I was launched into a world far out of my comfort zone. She had seen and experienced things no child her age should have to endure. The way she coped with the abuse and neglect was to detach. If you don't care about anyone, I guess you can never be hurt. It's called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). If you know anyone who has a child diagnosed with this, give them all the support you can - they need it.
She enjoyed riding Scamper with my youngest daughter and was so proud of the used pair of cowboy boots I found for her (that were several sizes too big!)
I taught her to read, and she could read far above her grade level. She loved the Sonrise Stable series. I began by reading them aloud to her. When I read about the foster girl in one of the books, she stopped me and asked if I'd written it about her. I told her I'd written that particular book before she was even born. But it was clear to me God had a plan I was totally unaware of at the time - that included me becoming a foster parent - not just writing about it!
Some day, I may write about those years. Right now, it's too painful. The bad days outnumbered the good, although there are some memories I treasure, that give me a slim hope for her future.
I lost many "friends" and left several churches. And the family who now has her refuses to let me have any contact. That was definitely not the ending to the story I had envisioned. I have to wonder if I made any lasting difference in her life in the years she was here. I know the experience changed me. God revealed character flaws in my life that I still need to work on.
